Fardous Hosseiny
President & CEO, Atlas Institute for Veterans and Families
Brian McKenna
National Strategic Advisor, Veterans, Atlas Institute for Veterans and Families
Laryssa Lamrock
National Strategic Advisor, Families, Atlas Institute for Veterans and Families
A Canadian winter can be difficult for anyone’s mental health. For Canadian veterans, especially those with PTSD, the bustle of holiday celebrations can be a major challenge.
The winter holidays are approaching quickly, and while many of us are looking forward joyously to a time of family, food, and festivities, it’s important that we also understand that the season can be a difficult one for Canadian veterans. Those who’ve served are disproportionately affected by mental health injuries such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which can make the busy gatherings, the loud noises, and the expectations of eager participation around the holidays particularly challenging. In the spirit of the season, the most giving thing we can do is practise compassion and understanding in our efforts to include the veterans of our communities in our celebrations in a way that respects their individual needs.
While veterans are certainly not the only Canadians struggling with mental health issues in the winter months, the prevalence of trauma-related injuries in that community is far greater than the norm. “Post-traumatic stress disorder is a serious condition that can develop after the person has experienced or witnessed a traumatic or terrifying event in which there was serious physical harm or threat,” explains Fardous Hosseiny, President and CEO of the Atlas Institute for Veterans and Families. “When you look at specifically the veteran population, PTSD affects approximately 10 per cent of all military veterans, including war service veterans and peacekeepers stationed in war zones. If you open it up to include all mental illnesses, that number balloons to about one in four.”
Loneliness and the isolation of a forced smile
Even veterans without diagnosed mental health injuries are at an increased risk of loneliness and isolation in the civilian world, both well-documented as leading to chronic disorders like heart disease and lung disease as well as further mental health comorbidities, including depression, alcohol and substance use disorders, and suicidal ideation.
Somewhat counterintuitively, that sense of isolation can actually be exacerbated by the bustle and celebration of the holiday season. “It’s absolutely possible to be lonely in a town of two million people,” says veteran Brian McKenna, National Strategic Advisor, Veterans, Atlas Institute for Veterans and Families. “Things like spontaneous singing occurring behind you is joyful for most people, not so much for me. Christmas crackers, not the best thing. But there’s a lot of social pressure not to have a problem at Christmas time. It’s a time of year when it’s not socially acceptable to ask for space.”
Spontaneous singing occurring behind you is joyful for most people, not so much for me. Christmas crackers, not the best thing.
Include veterans on their own terms
For Canadians seeking to better include the veterans of their families and communities in the holiday festivities, it’s important to remember that pressure to participate can itself be triggering. One of the most compassionate things you can do is ask a veteran if and how they would like to be included. Engage them in the planning process.
“What works for one veteran might not work for another,” says Laryssa Lamrock, National Strategic Advisor, Families, Atlas Institute for Veterans and Families who herself is a veteran family member. “You have to respect each person’s experiences and what they need at the moment. If you anticipate that you’re going to be engaging in activities with a veteran or inviting them over, ask them what they need. And ask them beforehand, not at the moment, as they walk through the door for a holiday meal with 30 people. Ask them what might make them more comfortable, and be prepared that the answer may be that they don’t know. Just the fact that you’ve asked will go a long way.”
Most importantly, remember that sometimes taking space and time is the best way veterans can care for themselves. As in all areas of our lives, we can never really know what someone else is going through. And that bit of wisdom applies poignantly to veterans who may have very different associations with the season than most Canadians. “When the snow falls, I’m always thinking about how it’s falling on a conflict somewhere in the world,” says McKenna. “I’ve seen a lot of people suffering in the cold, and I’ve been in parts of the world where many people didn’t know if they would survive the winter. More than two decades later, these are still the memories that come back to me when other people are thinking about snowmen.”
Fighting stigma, challenging preconceptions
Just as you can’t know a veteran’s experiences unless they have chosen to share them, remember that the veterans in your community may not be the people you consciously or subconsciously assume will fit that mould. “Many folks still think of a veteran as an older gentleman in a blue blazer at Remembrance Day,” says Lamrock. “That’s a very tiny slice. There are many younger veterans with very diverse experiences. There are a lot of female veterans. The veterans in your community might not be who you envision.”
At the end of the day, the best thing we can offer is compassion and understanding. Mental health issues can still carry a significant stigma in Canada, and it can be difficult to ask for help, even as we work to increase the accessibility and availability of services. “Within our community, there’s a culture of self-reliance and an avoidance of weakness,” says Hosseiny. “Veterans who may be struggling will continue putting that burden on themselves because they don’t want to be a burden to anyone else.”
So, as the holidays approach, perhaps try to make it clear to the veterans in your community that accommodating their needs this season is no burden at all.
